The greatest story ever told.

[magical minion]

Greetings comrades I have glorious news for all of you. After many servers the great one has finally returned to AE. He has shared with me an amazing story, which I shall now share with all of you. Many moons ago my master had a premonition in the form of a dream. He foresaw the death of the greatest space boat game known to man. So in order to save AE he embarked on a spirit quest in order to learn the truth. His journey lead him to amazonian rain forest where he learned shamanism from the natives. However in order for him to be recognized as true shaman he was required to pass three tests. First was the test of courage where he had to dance with a jaguar. The second test was the test of wisdom. He had to determine the guilt or innocence of a local tribesman who was accused of murder. The final test, was the test of faith. He was told to wander into the rain forest alone, with no previsions, completely naked. He had to spend 3 days, and 3 nights in the wild by himself. after staying there for 3 days with no food or water, he finally had his vision. That is when he finally found his lord, and savior Malsumis. This is when my master learned the truth. Malsumis told him how to save AE, and he guided my master back to the village. Finally my master was recognized as a true shaman. They also bestowed him with a name of great power. The name they chose for him was Bál0r which translates to long winded. Bál0r thought that his journey would finally come to a close. However the chief tribesman offered his youngest daughter to our hero. She was a beautiful peruvian midget, and for my master it was love at first sight. Balor lived a quiet life in the village for many years, he even had a few children. Sadly a couple years later his wife died of malaria. So Bál0r took his three children, and returned to civilized society. Finally after many years Balor has finally returned to save AE, and your souls with his forum posts. So accept his wots into your hearts for he loves you. Praise Malsumis, and peace be with you

[Bloody Caesar]

Well, that's 60 seconds I can't get back.

[magical minion]

Well, that's 60 seconds I can't get back.

Oh look another infidel. Sir you cannot be saved if you don't accept the teachings of Balor.
He has come to spread the word of Malsumis. God of chaos, and thorns.

[Bloody Caesar]

I miss the old Balor

P.S. I prefer the term "heathen" or "heretic".

[Mr PiPE]

There's that wot we were looking for

[Sean Likes Pandas]

If I convert myself to a christian, will Balor give me a pact?

[SEWI]

You guyz need to learn fast reading....

Took me 3 secs to see there was nothing to read...

The usual....when people talk long....they say nothing...

[xantonin]

[AstroZombie]

Slightly amusing...but it took too long to get to the funny part of the story.

4/10

[xantonin]

Slightly amusing...but it took too long to get to the funny part of the story.

4/10

There was a funny part?

[Tetrahydrocannabinol]

Slightly amusing...but it took too long to get to the funny part of the story.

4/10

There was a funny part?

The ending?

[AstroZombie]

Slightly amusing...but it took too long to get to the funny part of the story.

4/10

There was a funny part?

Well funny is a strong word but I would say the part where he mentions Balor by name. I especially liked the part where he said his name translates to long winded. Its funny because its true.