Wlerin wrote:No bases of this player are present in regions where you have fleets or bases, or in regions recently visited by your fleets.
Best I can come up with. The problem is that the third qualifier violates parallelism, and so needs to be in a separate list from fleets and bases.
None of this player's bases are present in areas where you have fleets, bases or in regions recently visited by your fleets.
Should not have two "or" in the same sentence like that and the comma is in the wrong place.
There's nothing wrong with my comma >:U
Or my 'or' for that matter. They are two separate lists. Or rather, one is nested within the other (hence the comma).
I do like what you did with the start of the sentence, though it's still not quite there.
And all that said, the whole thing is far too wordy. I'm not sure the reason no bases are visible needs to be included here, for example. It could just say something like "No bases currently on record."
Also, don't be changing regions to areas. Regions has a very specific meaning in this context.